i just burned 1200 calories (i forgot the pizza in the oven)
ok yeah but slytherin muggleborns buying a shitload of those really cheap ballpoint pens beore every term and selling them to pureblood/halfblood students for like 10 sickles a pen and all these kids are just mystified by the fact that they dont have to constantly dip quills when they write essays
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell